“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life” Proverbs 4:23
Do you have any control over who you fall in love with?
My entire life I’ve always received a resounding “No” to this question. As if love is just this random thing that floats around and you just secretly hope whoever it picks for you will be good, kind, compassionate and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. As if your life is not you own to choose who you will hold dear in it and who will be cast out of it. The truth is I believed that very thing for so long in my life that I almost became a witness to my life as if I were watching it unfold from the sidelines instead of participating or even controlling the events that took place.
I recently look back on my previous relationships and realized I had overlooked the obvious that many of them were significantly flawed from the beginning. There is a popular saying “It’s is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” and to certain extent it is true, but I believe that is only the case when you walk away from a relationship with something positive gained. The fact is many of my previous relationships left me with nothing positive, just a little scarring on my heart and a feeling that once again I was unsuccessful in maintaining a relationship. I wasn’t keeping and guarding my heart at all.
Do you have any control over who you fall in love with?
My entire life I’ve always received a resounding “No” to this question. As if love is just this random thing that floats around and you just secretly hope whoever it picks for you will be good, kind, compassionate and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. As if your life is not you own to choose who you will hold dear in it and who will be cast out of it. The truth is I believed that very thing for so long in my life that I almost became a witness to my life as if I were watching it unfold from the sidelines instead of participating or even controlling the events that took place.
I recently look back on my previous relationships and realized I had overlooked the obvious that many of them were significantly flawed from the beginning. There is a popular saying “It’s is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” and to certain extent it is true, but I believe that is only the case when you walk away from a relationship with something positive gained. The fact is many of my previous relationships left me with nothing positive, just a little scarring on my heart and a feeling that once again I was unsuccessful in maintaining a relationship. I wasn’t keeping and guarding my heart at all.
It took several relationships, some that mattered and many that didn’t before I realized exactly what that proverb meant. “Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life” Proverbs 4:23. You see each person you love and allow into your heart can have an affect on it. The idea is that each has a positive affect that only enriches your life. Sadly, many people (including myself) give that opportunity to the wrong people and then when they’re hurt they endure scarring that only the lord can truly repair. This scarring can affect your confidence, trust, and other relationships leaving your five steps back instead of ahead were you should be.
Suddenly I realized this meant I have been given control over whom I give my heart to and who I allow to have that kind of affect on it. You see love isn’t something that just floats around and randomly places people together and then good luck! No, you can always choose who you fall in love with as long as you take the time to really get to know the other person first and pray about whether this is someone that should be involved in your life. When you take time to know who this person really is and whether or not they are going to be a positive influence on your life you take back the control.
God always has a plan for you and your life including the people that should be in it. When someone new enters your life, take the time to find out if that person is right for you instead of just flying off with your emotions and then realizing down the road it was a huge mistake. By doing this you minimize the pain of tearing your heart away from someone, then having to rebuild it and instead focus on the things that were meant to be.
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